SPEED THROUGH SKILL

011109, 6:50pm

I have Pass out as a Full flagged signaller from the signal insitiute
this oso marks the end of my slack
and my future location will be in 41SAR according to encik philip

i face alot of money problems in between this 2 weeks
and alot of things were put to the test on regarding i can handle them
- my dad fainted and went to hospital i had to apply urgent leave
- upon visiting him i only have $5
- have to get him a packet of roasted pork and char siew $4
- left $1 for myself
if laurence wasnt ava. that i would have suffer quite alot
and feel more like shit..
- after meeting him and he help me top up my card
- lunch on him man...i'm farkup broke till no pride -.-

Pride - People Rest I Do Extra

i will repay him someday, this i say
maybe this is oso something that let me see the true face of ppl?
when u no $ in a crisis..who are those who are really willing to help u?
or who are those who act blur ..or worst dun even care
i know i put in effort for alot of things
- YOUR birthday
- my 2.4KM - 13:59 to 12:45 to 11:05 to 10:58
even though my spent my pay all of it one shot one day
i felt its worth it?
nahhh i dun even koe now lol...
well at least not all goes into the drain

but i feel that you are those..
u said about money making you happy
to me it is 60% to you bah?
maybe a $450 wallet and a pair of pigs
could make you happier than
a...half fark..poor ass guy who cant even afford his topup card
the odds are there liao

becos of this i dun wan to leave poor
i wan to complete my ns life
and i wan to earn alots of money
so this 2 years wun be wasted

well well well
finally have the time to do alittle chitchat

today is sunday
for the coming 5 weeks i am posted to Stagmont camp
i am in the Signals Insitute (SI)
one of the LTC say we are very lucky
cos its SI(Sleeping Insitute)
well i guess i juz have to enjoy this 6weeks course . after that
wadever is heading next is another mystery.
guoquan my Quecbac company buddy who is in the same bunk with me from then
is in same bunk with me when we arrive at signals
but he will OOC on monday due to back problems
Bun Chin went to OCS
my buddy Kenny went to Sispec
more or less most of platoon 3 ppl went to command school
i do have regrets that i'm not with them
i mean ..even if its the toughest shit we'll ever face
as long as we're tgt we can always face it no matter wad
we been through thick and thin during BMT
this journey is etched my memory
even after i ORD i will always remmeber the times we had in BMT
AND THE CHALET of cos isnt it LT Toh? lol

regrets..i do have alot of regrets in my life
even after entering army i have regrets
that i dint chiong during BMT so i did not manage to go command school
regrets..LT Wiggy said..do the best u can..make sure u dun have any regrets
i have some...but i will nv forget our time in BMT

i notice..even in my dreams..i have regrets..
i had a dream ytd ..there's this girl..duno who she is...
maybe i juz know her..talk to her awhile in the dream..notice i like her..
and she wan my number..i was like..wtf...and i woke up..

NS ..a period where despo rates goes up
Self-Control, Self Discipline is even more needed
yes i hate to see YOU with that guy
yes..i hate to see ppl lovey dovey
i hate my ex love life..
all this flashbacks...

"i only i want to finish my NS for now Nth else" i said
"you are trying to do only that i can tell" peiying said
"you dun care also nevermind"laurence said
"you thinking too much" awp said
i cannot forget my past..neither can i take the future...
ns is really a way for me to escape ..
escape reality
escape family problems
escape friends cant get along problems
escape money problem
escape...

its really quite hard to share problems..
i oso dun quite know who i can share this shit with..
i wana show concern..
i wan my friends
but do they want each other? answers lies with them
i will as usual organise events so we can hang out regulary
i notice i am not fan jian asking a girl out
its is my responsibility to .
so i should plan better
give me time ok?
i..like you..
i still do...
maybe i should ask again..
do u feel something about me?
am i one of those that change your life?
haha...

i guess..i only can give answers
but not so soon
we are friends after all =)
as friends we remain..in the grey area?
when u need me
only when u need me u can depend on me
when i need you
i only can hope u will be there for me too..
guess too much to wish for haha

looking at my Goals in life i need to update them liao by the time u read till here
maybe u can see my Goals in life too

book in timing : 2130
location of camp: 2 blocks away from my house

Comd SAF BMTC wishes you all the best in your future posting.

Your Posting Order is listed below:

1. You are posted to SIG INSTITUTE.
2. Your vocation is SIG OPR - INFOCOMM2.
3. Your are to report to: Stagmont Camp, BLK 207, RM #02-16.
Reporting Date/Time: 22/09/2009 at 0930 hrs.
Person to report to: Chief Clerk
Co

http://www.ns.sg/nsPortal/appmanager/nsp/default?_nfpb=true&_pageLabel=nsPortal_EPOSTING_1

18th sept i must login here

for now POP LO!!!!!

090909 marks the end of my BMT life
and 20th i must prepare for the new unit liao

time 12:42am

monday

come 730 i will wake up
and once again depart back to tekong

2weeks left to POP
once again i only can say
i will leave with regret....
lets see what i done in the army currently

Live Firing : 31/32 got marksman, no perfect shot
Field Camp: Suffered , Consispated , pumped , survived 6 Days in jungle n Urban Ops
SIT Test : Garang as a Section IC, Quiet as a team mate, wanted a simple life with no command school
Grenade : Saw Cocks hand drill grenade to sergeant , experience C4 explosion, threw live grenade
IPPT : Fitness Improved but not to targeted : Shuttle Run : 10.5secs, Sit Up: 41, 2.4KM Run: 12:02M, Pull up: ZERO , Standing Broad Jump : 197(fail)

well 2more weeks and i'll be through
2more weeks to POP
2more weeks my good allies are gona leave me
2more weeks my enemies will leave me
2more weeks to being Private
2more weeks .....

hmmm
tired...
i'm tired of waiting..
tired of anticipating
tired of organising
i'll take a back seat now
and you need me ..juz holla

i think i love this song alot
if there's anything there kept me going during my NS training
is this song...
thinking bout it
i got 5% more power

here's my power to you

hmmm
i'm back from field camp
6days of hell
hate the jungle

come out expect ppl to jio me go out once again
i was dissapointed
everyone have their own things to do bah
i am no longer
i grew tired u koe...
i oso wana come out have fun with everyone
but why issit that everytime is oso i jio ppl one?
why cant organise some FARKING SHIT FOR ME TO JOIN?
WHY DO I ALWAYS GET A "DONT KNOW GO WHERE LATER??!?!?!"
cannont juz gimme a solution
i have enough problems already

now i really find army escaping from reality
i wan to see everyone
but i guess not everyone wan to see me
other then shit replies
DELAYED PHONE CALLS
hold phone there 15min get back to me waste my phone $
is there anything that can make me more happy?
sad to say ytd i only went out with 2 guys
but at least i can say that we at least talk and they dun find it boring
i tell myself to sit back relacs and enjoy wads going on outside
wad i see is shit
i gave initiative ..i fan jian....i go call everyone
end up i still get shit replies
"dont know" "dun think free" "see how"
issit so hard to say , "on" , "steady" , "ok lor" ?
i guess i can say that when your time comes you will know .. ok?
i already compromise all i can
i hope to get understanding that i went through hell at field camp
and i really love to carry my bruised and battled body to town oso
but the crowd is not keen
if not about time then its about $

its so sad...
cant be bothered...
u wan go out then u have to jio them lor
why cannot you can jio me and tell me where to go wad to do for my only
farking precious saturday which i sit at home rot and play GTA4?
u think i like to sit at home and rot
even i got badly bruised thighs on both sides bloodied elbow,bleeding piles,heat rash all over
i still can take the pain and go out
"what cant kill you makes you stronger"
this quote from sir and lau
really make sense now..i love this word actually
if there's no display of initiative
then i say..there's no need for sign on's or leadership
juz cant be bother
ppl like me who dun wan to be the leader can lead...what bout the others?

from work till now
my offdays, my bookout days
all wasted man....a short gather will do liao..
i dun ask for me..if u all dun wan to hear wad i have to say
then its ok..i juz shutup and eat
when its your time then u will understand how i feel
live in your own world for now
for there will be a time u will come to mine
then by then i hope you guys the understand

once again
i recevied my RT
and once again
we did alot of shits...
50 standards , 20 diamonds , 9 100m sprint, crunches etc etc

now i feel i quite suay..till the lvl where...
since guard duty
THEY cant keep mt saturdays free
they will to tie me down on saturday
and after i blog finish
i will have to book in again at 1825
sucks man...
my weekend gona...
lots of regrets la...as usual...
cant buy this...cant go there... wad to do?
suck thumb lor....

with field camp fast appoarching
we are near POP liao bah?
i wouldnt koe..i have lost count of the world now...
outside ..at least

lets see...i gona stay 6 days in the jungle with my field bag basha and my rifle...
yay?...
i duno...
no mood to write on oso la
outside ppl!
u all better enjoy your farking time outside
and suffer when u are in here ok ? thanks