Blessing


time:10:26AM

ytd at mos
we had so much to drink..
we had chivas..
blackwood vodka..
and martell..

we become best sales time
tts why the management reward us..
1st to get drank was the ldr..
chelle..

and following the next few ppl who went down including myself
so much to drink..
so mani problems to forget..
at least for the coming few hours..

finally able to blog..
all i can blog are sad things..

i am drunk now..
or i am hangover..according to timo...

for the past 2 days...
i see tis fat guy..
tgt with tis thin girl..
tgt..and taking the same farking bus as me..

i always try to avoid them by walking faster hoping they wun
take the bus..
but they always manage to ..
i'm so farking pissed

they always had to be in my view..
so intimate with each other..
fark them..

.......................................................................

drunken..
take cab home..
bath.. rest on sit..
wanted to finish the maths tt i have do..
4secs into the seat...
i doze off..
and wake up ..
walk to my bed..
without setting up
i lay dead there...

time:8:43am
i wake up...
cos my dad..came in ...
feelin him try to ..
let me hug my bolster..
i woke up..
and he told me ...
its 7am..
i ran to my fone..
8:43am..
the maths test...
the farking mathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh testttttt..
i rush myself..
ask $ from dad
the next min
he koes i'm late..
he farking kan and kan me nonstop..
as usual..even the neighbours can hear..
throw my face nvm..he's so farking kpkb..
makes my farking day now so farking bad...
fark him...
"everyday play ur machine"
"everyday late for school"
"u like tt how to fight for $"
"aiya dun school liao la""everyday at home play ur machine can liao"


even i do how well..
they oso duno..
even i do how hard..
they only care about the results......

do they give a dam about me..
yeah my mom did..
my farking father.. not a chance...
if i have $ he borrows..
if he has $ he kan me for wanting $ frm him
if he and i both no $
he keep saying he's gona die n shit

after leaving the house..
i rush to the roads
time: 9am
waiting for the cab...
seems so hopelesss..
when i arrive at the pathment
hoping can get a cab ..
a cab went pass me before i can hail it..
after tt..i wait all the way till 9.15
a taxi came to my rescue..
or so i tot..
it was on call ..i tot its for me..
no its not..
its was for someone else near tt area..
9.28am..
i was so farking hopeless for a cab..
cos of the maths test n ryan's note..
i juz had to pass it to him and do the test..
i give up on waiting on tt farking pathment..
and went further up..
9:31am..
all hope is lost...
i cant do the test..
i am stil waiting for a farking cab..
i at tt time really feel..one car come.. i juz jump out and let me fly...
den from behind one cab horned me..
its was a uncle on the cab..
he said he saw me waiting since he finish off with his previous customer..
i was veri grateful..
there is still some hope in tis farking shit world
we talked awhile and
talking about how cruel singapore is..
spent so much $ on study
and take years to earn back..
some dun even can earn back..
i finally reach tis place i call school..
ran to the classroom ..
as expected..
seeing them jin howe welcoming me by waving both his hands in the air..
i koe..its all over liao.
the test..
my tutorial..
my unfinish homework..
2%..
now still abit drunk
and gastic pain..
i'm sitting here with them..
i no longer need to pass the notes to ryan..
he did a backup copy cos he couldnt trust me..
i am always late for things..
he has good judgement not to trust me..
i dissapoint so mani ppl so far..
by being late..
or being irresponsible..
but i cant die yet..
i'm single so wad..
farking couples..
i hope to nv the both of u on the streets..
dun bother to call me or wad..
juz ignore me..
act liek stranger ok..
i wan to forget the farking both of u ..
i am trying to ..
wadever i do..
the anger in my heart..
cannot be extisgulsuh
dun let me see the both of u..
when i'm drunk..
cos i duno wad i will do to the both of u..
maybe as usual i will ignore the both of u ..
dun farking try to touch me..
or do anythig funny..

u both have each other..
tts enuff..
rot in the farking world can liao..
dun spread ur disease to ppl like me..
dun even bother tagging here

i'm poor..
i am looked down on becos of my farking father..
i earn $ oso he wans to borrow..
and my mom..
bills are coming..
its gona be cut...
my fone gona be useless..
my net gona be disconnected..
my grades.. dropping down everyday..
my life..no life..
my parents..when seeing me using laptop
only say i am playing game..
isnt they right?
i am only playing games and doing nth..

i enjoy every nite with u on the fone..
except for the 2 nites tt we din talk..
though i always talk u to slp..
i like it..
hearin u always tired out with a bb..
jiu enuff le..
i hope we can have more nites on the fone soon..
i disappoint so mani ppl liao...
i dun wan to dissapoint u liao..
i cant accept failure in my life..
so i rather not try
and live with my empty hopes..
at least they can keep me going bah..

still feeling empty and emo inside...
i sign off liao

and ying i updated liao..
sorry calvin couldnt company u play bball ytd when u off..
today evening will be going for mother day dinner..
here is an early greeting

hapi mother's day
especially u mumu..
u should go back and see ur mom..
u both need each other..
juz now waiting for the cab..
i think i felt the same
hopeless-ness for the need for help..
i wanted a cab so badly i could die for it..
but din..it did came in the end..
it was late..
but wasnt too late..
there is still hope mumu
dun give up cos we are fighting the good fight now..
after u been through all tis shit..
u get to work..
i really hope u can come to sg to work..since u have ur relatives here..
but i koe..u have to start at base..
if u were to work under tt mun bitch...u must own her farking ass for urself..
she's a piece of shit..dun be like her..own her throughout

time: 11:34am
tts about all i have to say nw..
sorry if the following offend so peeps..
but i mean it so
____